it's the end of my madness.. finally i've came back to the harsh grounds of reality. i still feel rather sad. though i chose to avoid this fact. disappointments - i'm feeling them, though they can't be helped. i know it's not your fault. but still, can you say some things to make me feel slightly better? can you at least show that you're kind of unhappy too? i mean, not being able to meet me earlier isn't a great deal to you? i don't know. sometimes you just make me feel so. i hope after all that talking, it does make some impact to you. i don't know. maybe it's just the emptiness that i'm feeling inside. you're sometimes so far away. not only in physical distance. give me the strength to move on. i need the strength. sometimes, i just feel like i'm the only one trying hard. i'm trying to give my fullest. i'm not someone who tear often. not someone to mention my feelings often. i may look like i'm okay, but there are times which i wanna just scream out loud that i'm not okay. i'm not okay. but i just couldn't bear to spoil someone's day. anyone. seeing people smile is great. especially yours. i hope you think like me too. maybe you do. you just don't show it. maybe not showing it is bad at times. i don't know what i'm thinking. i don't think that i'm thinking right this very moment. perhaps i'm letting all the emotions flow. after i've vent it all out i should be fine. but now, i think i'm drowning in them. i'm dying..