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ADELINE's.
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Sunday, June 24, 2007
FUCKED UP INSIDE
my agitations. my emotions. they're taking control of me. my attitude sucks. yes. i admit. it's just me. and even if anything happens. i'll take care of it myself. cuz i can't expect you to be there for me all the time. and i should know. should know that you can't be there for me. and you're not. especially through the lonely long night. i'm sorry. for my sucky attitude. for my lack of understanding for you. but then again. the contradiction is there for me. asking you to leave me alone. but deep down it's the direct opposite. you're not there. and when you went off. you sure did went off fast. and i'm not alright. definitely. and i'm waiting. to see if you'll be worried. but fact is. you're not. poof. and off to bed. girls girls. i hate being a girl. i hate the girl in me. fucking demanding. fucking contradicting. and guys guys. guys don't get it. they never do. and this instance. he should be in dreamland. nothing close to me. i've waited. seeing if he'll send me a message or something. disappointment is all that i've received. how insensitive can a guy get. he won't know about how i felt. probably till the next day. when he read through this very post. the fucking bloody emo blog post. the girl's stabbed right in the heart. and how many more knives can she take? can she bear the pain? the road to recovery is tough. real tough alone. the cheerful her is now surrounded by blood. would you take my pain away? |