let me love you.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

miseryfollows.

how am i suppose to feel good with you like this. you're important. even though you may not see it. but you are. i don't wanna lose you in my life. that's for sure. i don't want to. it hurts to see you like this. am i truely happy? can i be happy with you like this? i can't. maybe you can tell me not to care, not to bother, but it is easier said than done. i also don't wanna care if i can. do you think it's that easy? it's affecting you. and me too. i don't wanna see you sad. but i know that's not very possible. but i just want things back to normal. how i wish i can turn back time. i've made a grave mistake. it was wrong from the start. i shouldn't have appeared in your life at all. you're wrong, you're not trouble. i am. the miserable pathetic me. i may look strong. but am i really strong? i may look happy. but am i genuinely happy? the real me, is just weak. emotions can only be kept within me. i don't wanna show it out. but seems like i‘m starting to show it？but all these are signs of weakness. i don't want to be weak. but it seems like the harder i want to keep things to myself, the more hurtful it is. look, this is the real me. the words you say hurt so deep. yes. i've broken your heart. i'm sorry. i'm really sorry. if you give me another chance, i will not do so. some things are not meant to be said? afraid to hurt me? i'm more hurt when you've kept mum. i try so hard to swallow down the tears. i can't show any sign of sadness. i don't want to affect anyone's day. i don't want people to worry for me. i don't want to. maybe i've reached the verge of breakin down. how long more can i go on like this? i've cried yesterday. i don't want to do so again. i don't wanna lose you.

i don't have mood for practically everything. i don't even feel like playing later on. but i can't eh? i have to play this critical game. i wanna win this game. for the team. but it seem to hard, with my condition like this? i am definitely not ready to play. i guess i'll just have to try my best eh. persevere. you told me, i've came too far to give up. i won't give up.

schoolwork seems so screwed. sighs.